The Stinky Lady

In keeping with the trend, I figured I must also share a little insight about "The Stinky Lady."

So, we have a "Stinky Lady" at work...and unfortunately, we aren't talking about the average stinky lady who has bad breath, or tends to forget her antiperspirant. She is stinky in, quite possibly, the worst possible way ever.

"The Stinky Lady" acquired her alias because of the stinge she leaves behind in the bathroom...

Yes, I know...EW. And yes, EW is sooooo appropriate.

How it came to surface...

Naturally, I, along with several of my close co-workers, started to notice a pattern every time we went in the bathroom behind her. We observed a peculiar odd smell and at first, we couldn’t really put our fingers on what it could possibly be (or, we just didn’t want to). However, we came to the horrifying terms that this woman was “stinky” and she was “stinky” DOWN THERE.

Now, us woman must all admit, we are familiar with such a stink, but we take heed to NEVER let happen (by means of daily hygiene, of course).

And as if that weren’t bad enough, this woman proved that she was not privy to the concept of AIR FRESHENER as she makes herself right at home with her daily #2 dumps. Seriously, she does not spray afterward. I know, unbelievable. U.N.B.E.L.I.E.V.A.B.L.E.

And to top it off (this one is for you E), she does not refill the toilet paper. Talk about rude, inconsiderate, and lazy!

Hahahahaha, go figure, as I’m typing this, guess who just came out of the bathroom!?!?!

Funny story…

One day, I got fed up with the inconsiderate stink and went on an air freshener spray frenzy. After sitting back down to my desk, and feeling quite proud of myself for having the balls to walk around holding my finger on the trigger for that long, I started to notice a few "hacks" and "coughs" coming from my fellow co-workers.

Soon after, I realized that I, too, couldn't breathe...my eyes were stinging...and my throat was dry. I proceeded to slouch back into my chair, nonchalantly, open my desk drawer and hide the Spiced Cider spray all the way in the back.

For the record (and possibly give her some credit...somehow), I have not noticed the unusual smell when standing next to her at the kitchen counter, or when passing in the hallway. But, regardless, EW...I already know the truth and nothing is going to change that. Like come on woman...eat your vegetables!

Final Thought:
And for the SECOND time since I began writing this...
Guess who seriously just walked into the bathroom again.

I can wait until I get home to go potty...